You Know You're Horsey When... - Equine and Country Lifestyle Blogger I via I #lifestyleblogger #photography #countrylife
  • You rush home in your lunch break to muck out.
  • There’s hay in your hair. And your bra. And your knickers. And let’s not even talk about clipping season.
  • You tie your dressing gown in a quick release knot.
  • You click at your children/other shoppers if they are walking slowly.
  • You have more coats, boots & outdoor clothes than anyone else you know, and when you get asked out, you wonder if your cleaner jeans & cleaners paddock boots will do.
  • You see a nice hedge while driving and think that would make a nice jump.
  • You do the washing and have to pick bits of hay out of your husbands just washed pants before he notices as the stables boots went in the wash before.
  • You sulk about the cost of human shoes when your horse has a new set every 6 weeks.
  • You go to the airport and they pull you to one side because you have hoof picks in your bag.
  • You struggle to find a lender to get a mortgage, because the cost of the horse on your budget planner scares them.
You Know You're Horsey When... - Equine and Country Lifestyle Blogger I via I #lifestyleblogger #photography #countrylife
  • Your nails look like a coal-miner’s.
  • Your camera roll on your phone is full of images of horse injuries… cut legs, thrush, bacterial infections, mud fever etc.
  • You wait for your washing machine to dry so that you can hoover it out to remove all the horse hairs before you put your clothes in.
  • You easily justify spending £100’s on what the pony needs but turn your nose up at the price of clothes.
  • You’re an expert on the weather forecast.
  • You think there a bad smell in Tescos, then realise its you.
  • You go to pay for your shopping and the first thing you pull out of your pocket is pony nuts and straw.
  • You own loads of outdoor clothes and loads of pyjamas and not much in between.
  • You want someone to move you push their ribs with one finger and say “over”.
  • You have no clothes in your wardrobe but a whole room filled with your horses rugs.
You Know You're Horsey When... - Equine and Country Lifestyle Blogger I via I #lifestyleblogger #photography #countrylife
  • Your horse has a back massage every three months but you wouldn’t even think about one for yourself.
  • Your stables are neater than your house.
  • You spend far too long unravelling electric fencing.
  • You get excited over a nice, new broom.
  • You consider all open spaces as prime galloping space. And golf courses just a waste of land.
  • You hold your dog’s lead like you hold the reins.
  • You have purple spray in the cupboard next to your baked beans.
  • Your car resembles a tack and feed room all rolled into one.
  • You can fix anything with bailing twine or vet wrap.
  • You buys nappies for poulticing, not for babies.
You Know You're Horsey When... - Equine and Country Lifestyle Blogger I via I #lifestyleblogger #photography #countrylife
  • Your natural smell is Eau De Horse.
  • Your annual holiday is at Arena UK.
  • Your kids go to school wearing horse hair like an accessory.
  • Your equine first aid kit is more extensive than your human first aid kit.
  • Your arms are tanned and your legs are white.
  • You refer to someone as lame, if they’ve twisted their ankle.
  • Your idea of being a rebel is washing a rug in the home washing machine.
  • 4am is reserved for horse shows.
  • You tell the tyre repair men that its your near fore tyre that needs replacing.
  • Your six month old child has just started eating ‘hard feed’.
You Know You're Horsey When... - Equine and Country Lifestyle Blogger I via I #lifestyleblogger #photography #countrylife
  • It’s totally acceptable for your friend to send you a photo of horse poo.
  • You can name 5 generations of your horses breeding but can’t remember your cousins kid’s names.
  • Nobody recognises you when you put make-up on, because they’re used to seeing you look like cr*p.
  • You muck out a stable and then eat a sandwiches without washing your hands. What doesn’t kill you and all that…
  • You run on caffeine.
  • … And cheesy chips.
  • You know the pain of hay under your fingernail.
  • You’re tougher than the average female.
  • You’ve nodded your head to all of the above.


A huge thank you to the wonderful community on my Facebook page, for all their hilarious suggestions. They were great fun and kept me entertained for ages, which is why I just had to turn their answers into a blog post.

Please do feel free to add your own replies in the comments below. I’d love to hear more!

Specialist UK equine portrait photographer and country lifestyle blogger & vlogger.

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